Supporting a Child with SEND: A Practical Guide for UK Parents (From Lea Cole, Business Director)

Supporting a Child with SEND: A Practical Guide for UK Parents (From Lea Cole, Business Director)

By Lea Cole, Business Director, Moment of Truth Well-being Group Ltd. As co-director alongside founder Sharon Boyd, I lead the business side of our practice. I know that trying to find the right support for your child can feel like a lot to manage. This guide offers practical starting points and explains some of the support available in England.

If you are worried about your child’s learning, communication, behaviour or wellbeing, you do not have to wait for a diagnosis before talking to their school. A child’s needs and what helps them are the best place to begin.

SEND support: the latest figures

The Department for Education’s 2025/26 statistics report that 538,547 pupils in England have an education, health and care plan (EHCP)-6.0% of pupils. A further 1,319,780 pupils receive SEN support without an EHCP-14.8% of pupils.

The process can take time. In 2024, 46.4% of new EHCPs were issued within the statutory 20 weeks, down from 50.3% in 2023. These figures exclude cases where legal exceptions apply. They describe the national picture, not what every family will experience.

The figures are for England. Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have different systems and terminology, so check your local arrangements if you live elsewhere in the UK. You can read the latest Department for Education statistics and the EHC plans statistics.

Start with a conversation with school

Your child’s class teacher is a good first contact. You can also ask to speak with the school’s SENCO (special educational needs coordinator), who coordinates support for pupils with special educational needs.

Before the meeting, jot down what you have noticed. For example:

  • What does your child find difficult at school or at home?
  • When does the difficulty happen, and when does it seem easier?
  • What helps your child feel safe, focused or ready to learn?
  • What does your child say about their own experience?

Specific examples are often more useful than general descriptions. You might note that your child finds it hard to start written tasks, becomes distressed in noisy spaces, or needs extra time to move between activities.

Ask the school what it has noticed, what support is already in place and how you will review whether that support is helping. You can ask for decisions and agreed actions to be written down. The GOV.UK guide to extra help for children with SEND explains the school support process.

Understand the graduated approach

Schools commonly use a repeating process called Assess, Plan, Do, Review. It helps adults understand a child’s needs, agree support and check whether it is making a difference.

Supporting a Child with SEND: A Practical Guide for UK Parents (From Lea Cole, Business Director)

Assess

The school gathers information about your child’s strengths and needs. This might include classroom observations, progress, your views, your child’s views and advice from specialists where appropriate. The aim is to understand what is getting in the way of learning and participation.

Plan

You, your child and school staff discuss the support to try and the outcomes you hope to see. Ask who will provide it, when it will happen and when you will review it. A useful plan describes practical support, not only a broad target such as “make progress”.

Do

The school puts the agreed support into practice. The class or subject teacher remains responsible for your child’s day-to-day learning, even when other staff provide additional help.

Review

At an agreed time, you and the school look at what has changed. Has your child found it easier to take part, manage transitions or complete a task? If not, the support may need to change. Reviewing is not about blaming the child or family; it is about learning what works.

Practical adjustments that may help

Small, consistent changes can make a meaningful difference. What helps will vary from child to child, so try to agree adjustments with your child and school, then review them.

Supporting a Child with SEND: A Practical Guide for UK Parents (From Lea Cole, Business Director)

  • Visual supports: A simple visual timetable, written instructions or a “first, then” card can make routines and expectations easier to follow.
  • Movement breaks: Some children concentrate better after a short walk, stretch or movement activity. Agree when and how these breaks can happen.
  • A quieter space: A calm area or a planned option for reducing noise and sensory demands may help when a busy environment feels overwhelming.
  • Clear, manageable instructions: Give one or two steps at a time, allow processing time and check understanding without putting your child on the spot.
  • Predictable transitions: A gentle warning before an activity ends, or a visual countdown, can make changes easier to manage.

These strategies can support children with many different needs. They are not a test for ADHD or Autism, and they do not replace an individual assessment of what your child needs.

Your role in decisions, and when to ask about an EHC needs assessment

You have an important role in decisions about your child’s support. Share what you notice, ask how your views and your child’s views will be included, and request a clear explanation of what has been agreed. You can ask for copies of plans or meeting notes and for a review date.

If you feel the support available through SEN Support is not enough, you can ask the local authority to carry out an EHC needs assessment. You do not have to wait for the school to make the request or give permission. An assessment considers a child’s education, health and care needs and whether an EHCP may be needed.

You may want to consider asking when your child’s needs remain significant despite support, when progress or participation is limited, or when the help they may need appears to go beyond what the school can ordinarily provide. A diagnosis is not, by itself, a guarantee of an EHCP, and not having a diagnosis does not prevent you from asking for an assessment.

When making a request, it can help to include your child’s strengths and needs, examples of the impact on daily life and learning, support already tried, review notes and any relevant professional reports. Keep a copy of your request and the date it was sent. The local authority should explain its decision and the next steps. The SEND Code of Practice gives further guidance for families and professionals in England.

Working with the SENCO without carrying it all alone

A meeting with school can feel daunting, especially if you are worried or tired. Taking a short list of questions can help you stay focused:

  1. What are my child’s strengths, and what do you think is getting in the way?
  2. What support or adjustments will be put in place, and who is responsible?
  3. How will we know whether they are helping?
  4. When will we review the plan together?
  5. What can we do if my child’s needs change or the support is not helping?

Supporting a Child with SEND: A Practical Guide for UK Parents (From Lea Cole, Business Director)

If you disagree, you can ask the school or local authority to explain its decision and the evidence behind it. Keep communication in writing where possible, and make a simple timeline of meetings, requests and responses. Your local SEND Information, Advice and Support Service (SENDIASS) can offer information and support to parents. You can find local services through your council’s Local Offer.

Support for your child and family

School support and emotional wellbeing support can sit alongside one another. A child may benefit from a safe space to talk about worries, friendships, confidence or the stress of finding school difficult. Parents can need support too; seeking help is not a sign that you have failed.

Moment of Truth Well-being offers school counselling services and support for education settings, as well as personal therapy. If you are exploring whether ADHD or Autism may help explain your child’s experiences, read about our ADHD assessment service and Autism assessment service. You can contact us with questions about what may be appropriate. If you have been searching for “counselling near me”, we offer face-to-face appointments in parts of the North East and Liverpool, with online or telephone options across the UK.

You do not have to solve everything at once. Start with one conversation, one practical adjustment or one question about what happens next. Your child deserves to be listened to, and so do you.

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